How to be the Most Interesting Person in the Room
Don’t you just envy the man who when he walks into a room has everyone cracking their necks just to take a glimpse of him? He’s the guy who everyone wants to be associated with. The guy who people want to spend time with and everyone wants to talk with. Exactly what does it take to become such a guy?
Become the most interesting man wherever you go with these simple tips:
Be Open to New Things
No one want’s to hear someone complaining about their daily routine and their personal problems all day long. Get out there and experience new things.
Take a break and go on vacation. Make it a mission to sample different cultures, new environments, and interesting food. Sometimes you don’t have to travel that far or even leave your own country to experience something new.
Fancy trying out a new sport, just give it a go. You’re not obliged to keep at it if it doesn’t work out for you. Perhaps you could take a new cooking class, after all, who doesn’t like someone that can knock up some tasty food?
Challenge your preconceived ideas of things and see whether you really do dislike something or whether it has actually been a false belief all along. For instance, if you think you hate Opera but have never actually been to see one, then get a ticket and go try one out.
Sometimes what we like or dislike changes over time. If you don’t enjoy it then you’ve just confirmed the belief that you hated it anyway, at least you’ll have the experience to pass on to others at your next social engagement.
By seeking out new people and new experiences you won’t be the “boring” one to enter the room anymore. Sharing engaging experiences is way better than telling your surroundings how your routine is getting on your nerves.
Practice Eye Contact
Making good eye contact with a person you’re having a conversation with can be tough. The problem is that if you make eye contact all the time then you can come across as being too intense. Also, women will find you a bit creepy because you are effectively staring at them.
Conversely, if you don’t make enough eye contact then you come across as being a bit rude or disinterested in the other person and what they have to say.
The good news is, there is no perfect rule for how much eye contact you should make. The trick is to simply try and make your partner comfortable in your company and you do this by matching your eye contact with theirs – if they look away, you look away or if they look at you, you look at them. Simple.
Just make sure you mix up your ‘looking away’ timing so that it doesn’t look like you are copying them. You don’t want to be a mirror image of them, otherwise, they’ll think you’re a bit weird.
Listen to People
Women love the trait of empathy in a man and nothing expands your capacity for empathy more than being a good listener. A good listener makes eye contact (yep, done that one), is attentive and doesn’t interrupt what the other person is saying.
Good listening helps you avoid having to mind read a person and potentially misread the situation. If you’re talking to a woman then resist the urge to solve her problems or offer a fix especially if she is pouring out her heart. Generally, she needs you to listen and be interested in what she has to say. If she wants your advice wait for her to ask for it.
Use your own body language and gestures, such as an occasional nod, to convey your attention. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said and if that means asking occasional questions for clarification then go right ahead. Defer judgment or counter arguments and if you do offer your opinion then do so respectfully.
Sit Up Front
Do you remember the last meeting you attended, be it in your job, school or elsewhere? Where did you sit? Was it at the back? The back being that special safe place where you don’t have to make eye contact with the host, the boss, the teacher or the speaker. The place where you are unlikely to be challenged to participate or be targeted for an opinion. ‘Deep joy, the hypnotist is pointing at me to join him on stage. Why the f*uck did I sit up front?’
The back is the perfect place for someone who is shy, who doesn’t want to be noticed and doesn’t want to be the focus of attention. That isn’t where you want to sit if you want to be the most interesting person in the room.
Don’t be that guy that always sits at the back and waits for things to be over. Put yourself out there and sit up front where life has the potential to be more interesting. It will also do wonders for your self-confidence.
Smile a lot, wherever you are, whenever you can – and make it a big smile (without trying to look like the Joker in Batman). Why? Because smiling stimulates our brain’s reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate, a well-regarded pleasure-inducer, cannot match. Reason enough maybe, but there’s more.
Smiling establishes trust, makes you happier and helps you to live longer. And that makes you appear friendlier, more approachable and more fun to be around. Even if someone tries to be angry with you, who could refuse that big convincing smile of yours?
So even when you don’t feel like smiling, just do it.
Charisma is a trait often bandied about as something you are either born with or not. The truth is charisma can be taught. It is well worth you taking the time to study the characteristics that make you a more charismatic person. Why? Because charismatic men are perceived to be both likable and powerful – they really do command a room and draw people towards them.
Even if you have the best stories to share or you have the most experience in your field if you aren’t a little bit charismatic then you won’t leave a good impression and will probably be forgotten about in the blink of an eye.
Work on your body language, your gestures, your voice tone and of course that big smile of yours. These are all things that will elevate your charisma.
Strive to be always well-informed. Think about keeping up to date with the latest news or events in general interest fields and areas in which you specialize. Become ‘a know it all’. Don’t confine yourself to just one subject area which is all you can talk about.
Read a lot of books from different genres, fiction or nonfiction and try to expand your vocabulary and ways of thinking. All this new information will leave you with plenty of new exciting topics to discuss with people.
Reading is also good for people loaded with a lot of stress, so next time you want to ‘chill’ a little, pick a book and let your imagination wander.
Develop Your Style
The first impression that someone makes when entering a room is how they look and how stylish they are. So try finding your own unique style which gives you that good first impression before you even open your mouth.
Get some pair of fashionable shoes or a stylish coat and try to match your outfit based on your uniqueness and the style you want to express.
Put Your Phone Away
When you find yourself in an awkward or uncomfortable situation the temptation is to engross yourself in your phone. This sends out a signal to other people that you don’t want to be bothered and wish to be left alone. This isn’t the kind of behavior of someone who wants to dominate the room.
Instead put your phone away and try interacting with other people. No one wants to disrupt your screen time, so even if someone wants to say hello to you they won’t consider starting a conversation with you while you have your face in your phone. So put your phone in your pocket and communicate in the real world.
Make an Entrance
Making a confident and pleasing entrance can influence how you’re perceived in those first moments you enter a room. Make it your mission to learn how to make heads turn when you make your appearance.
The trick is not to be fashionably late. Assess the situation before you make your entrance and look like you’re glad to be there. Look around at the people in the room and show the appropriate emotions for the situation (you don’t want to be pissing your sides when you enter a funeral for example.)
If you are in any doubt as to whether people find you boring and you worry that you aren’t quite as interesting a person as you’d like to be then I believe I have the solution. My book No More Mr. Boring offers every tip, trick and technique I know to become anything but that boring guy that nobody notices.